Things I'll Never Say
by Zoete9
Summary: NaruHina. AU. Naruto asks Hinata out, but things don't go as planned. Time creates a gap between them and Hinata, still heartbroken and dwelling on the past events, decides she's going to win back Naruto's affection. R&R?


**Author's Notes:**

**Hey, hey, hey! I decided to post this AU NaruHina fic that I've had written for a while (like a year). It's especially for _narutofreak23, _since she wanted me to get it out there so badly. This was originally a songfic to Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne, because really, it fits Hinata SO well. Just a little fact you might wanna know. OOCness for Hinata! M'kay, I'm done rambling now. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything you recognize...**

* * *

I feel so helpless right now. I attempt, but fail to get even a single syllable out. It's him, he's right here beside me in front of my locker. I fidget, squeaking as I begin trying to smooth any fraying in my naturally blue hair. Well, as discreetly as anyone can possibly accomplish that. Once satisfied, I yank my purple sweater down further, almost past my thighs. Is it too high? Too low? **Why** do I care, again? _Calm down Hinata!_ I mentally scold myself.

My lavender eyes drift downward to my feet. Oh, how lucky they are to be safe inside their haven of black sneakers. My pale cheeks morph to rosy for no apparent reason. No, wait, Naruto's here. That's why.

"Hey, Hinata are you feeling okay? You're looking a bit red," he informs in a worried tone. **Fantastic**, now he's talking to me. Say something back, anything, just speak! My heart pounds wildly in my chest and the butterflies rush back in full force when a tan hand comes to rest on my forehead. It's unbelievable what a simple touch does to me.

"Well, you feel fine..." he says with a puzzled expression on his angelic face. He retracts his hand.

He's so perfect. Everything from his spiky gold hair, to those devastatingly blue eyes. Can't I, at the very least, just **try** to talk to him?

"U-um Naruto I'm fine, really. Just a little warm I guess!" I say cheerily, feeling incredibly proud for stuttering only **once**_._ I smile slightly as he just stares at me for a moment. What's with that look? It gives me chills. He's so worth the amount of courage this takes. Not to mention how hard it is to be this close to him.

"Ok, but u-um... t-that wasn't what I-I wanted to ask you, Hinata ," Naruto stutters out. He nervously wrings his hands like it might make him less jittery than he already is. Wait, Naruto **stuttered**? Well, it looks like this situation has been **completely** flipped on its head. The apocalypse is coming. Let's continue with this imminent disaster, shall we?

"What did you want to ask me Naruto?" I invite with another gentle smile, trying to encourage him.

"Doyouwanttogoonadatewithme?" spills out of those pink lips so fast I might think he didn't speak at all.

I want to hear him say it just one more time. Gosh, I'm a horrible person, who knows how much courage that took him?

Does he even have any left? Let's find out. Yes, I'm definitely a cruel person. "Sorry. I didn't quite catch that, can you repeat it?" I lie sweetly.

"N-never mind!" he exclaims while turning on his heel and trying to make a run for it, too bad I'm faster. I make a noise of protest and my hand shoots out, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards me, which only serves to make us collide with one another. A small scream escapes me as we fall backwards.

We end up on the ground in a heap of tangled limbs, me on bottom. Its a moment before I realize what else is going on, considering the air has been knocked out of my lungs. I find that I can't breath out even if I wanted to. Why, you ask? Allow me to enlighten you.

His lips have crashed spectacularly onto mine by pure accident, and I wish I could tell him just how much I've wanted this. But that's one of the things I'll never be say aloud, along with the stupid fantasy of being married to him so I never have to leave his side and how I wish I was something great in his eyes.

I still don't want to break the kiss, even for much needed air, but it seems Naruto does. He jumps off of me and bolts out of the high school's green double doors like the building had gone up in flames, without a single parting word my way.

Once he's fled, it leaves me lying on the floor, staring at the crusty white ceiling of the hallway thinking about my demolished dreams. The sting of rejection makes itself known and I attempt to keep myself together, but my efforts are futile. He didn't want to be with me after all. And you know what? I really should have known better.

The barriers constructed within my mind, which were originally put up to block the harsh insults my father yells at me in order to toughen me up, finally crumble. For the first time in years, I break down and cry.

Moving to a sitting position, I lean against the cold lockers and slowly pull my knees up to my chest so I can pathetically bury my head in my arms. As my sobs reverberate throughout the desolate hall, I decide not to move from my fetal position.

At least high school's over now, but something tells me that this summer isn't going to be all that fun.

* * *

**~Two Years Later~**

"You're 20 years old now, get over it," I mutter to myself once more as I step towards my college. The thing is, my commands are just empty words. I never really got over what happened on that last day of high school. Oh please, I never really got over Naruto! How could I, with that accidental kiss plaguing my mind, being a constant reminder? He'd stolen my** first** kiss, mind you. I may have stolen his too, which is a nice thought.

He doesn't care what I think though. Its a shame he doesn't know that he goes through my head every time I merely see anything yellow and blue. He doesn't know, nor will he ever, how my heart beat quickens when I see him pass by on campus. That's another example of my phenomenal bad luck, Naruto goes to the same college as I do.

It's torture, seeing him everyday. He always has this girl on his arm, Sakura, but I just call her "pink leech". The girl has pink hair and hangs off of Naruto just like a leech, so the nickname suits her. They could be dating for all I know. But then again, they might just be good friends. Perhaps she stalks him? I used to do that all the time in high school. Okay, I did **not** admit that just now. The most probable reason is that they really **are** dating.

I mentally slap myself when I notice my hands have clenched shut in jealousy. I need to stop wasting my time on him, he probably doesn't even remember what happened that day, let alone insignificant me. I've always wondered where Naruto vanished to, what he did after that little accident.

It two years ago, but what puzzles me is that **he** was going to ask **me** out, not the other way around.

It's decided. I'm going to make Naruto remember why he may or may not have wanted to ask me out, what he could have possibly liked about me. I need to tell him that I care for him- no, that I love him soon because if I don't say it, we're never going to be anything.

I'll try my very best to be the perfect girl for him, but...exactly what is his idea of a perfect girl? It doesn't matter, no use shaking my resolve now. I'll put in every bit of effort I can muster. He's worth it.

* * *

Walking around campus the next day, I search for any sign of golden hair. Soon, I spot him walking near me, but the "pink leech" is on his arm once again. I sigh in aggravation and my shoulders sag, but straighten up immediately once I realize I can't sulk about this anymore. Because you know what? I don't care.

I summon up every ounce of courage I have and call out to the pair. Their heads whip around and they stop, waiting for me to catch up. Oh my god. I'm so nervous my hands are shaking, but that might be an illusion since I do something bold next.

"Hey, Naruto! Can I talk to you... alone?" I chime sweetly as I approach them, even shooting the leech a kind smile. But my eyes say otherwise. Let's hope she takes the hint. **_He's mine, kono ama!_ **She opens her mouth to protest, but it quickly snaps shut as my eyes gleam evilly in her direction. Her own eyes widen and she vanishes so fast all I see is a pink blur. Naruto raises a golden eye brow at the random request and Sakura's sudden disappearance but replies anyway.

"Uh, sure Hinata."

Oh, so he remembers my name after all! I wonder what else he remembers. Well, all I know is that this makes pulling off my plan a thousand times easier. I turn on my heel and begin briskly walking in the opposite direction. He follows behind, and out of the corner of my eye I see an intrigued look on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask, turning my head to quirk a navy blue eyebrow at him. I really do want to know why he looks so surprised.

He blushes and averts his cerulean eyes to the ground, but no words come out of those oh-so-kissable lips. _Damn, those two years have been kind to him._ I let loose a laugh at his reaction and his head snaps up to stare at me in more disbelief. Oh lord, what now?

"I've never heard you laugh before," he admits, seemingly reading my thoughts. I have to giggle again.

"Did it freak you out?" I joke, my voice shaking as I continue giggling. This is going **way** better than I thought it would.

"N-no! I kind of...liked it..." he defends himself, muttering the last part. Quiet as it was, I still catch it.

"Nice to know," I tease and wink with a winning smile on my features before turning around to observe him out of the corner of my eye once again. He stares longingly at my backside as I continue leading the way.

* * *

We eventually stop at a bench and I sit down, signaling for him to do the same by patting the spot next to me. He seats himself closer to me than I expected, but hey, I'm not complaining!

"What'd you want to talk about Hinata?" he questions and I realize just how much I've missed him saying my name.

"I...wanted to c-catch up. We h-h-haven't talked s-since high school, a-after all!" The stutter is back with a vengeance. No, not the dreaded stutter, I thought I had gotten rid of you! Definitely unattractive. What's happening to me and my supposed confidence?

"Okay, so, what have you been doing since high school?" Naruto responds.

"Just some studying... boring medical stuff," I explain but don't stutter this time. Although, I'm looking at my knees while I speak.

I continue telling him about specific courses I've taken. Naruto's staring intently at me the entire time, leaning his elbows on his knees, chin resting in his upturned palm, but still turned towards me. In fact, he's smiling at me like I'm saying the most important thing he'll ever hear. It can't possibly be that interesting, can it? I feel like I'm in dire need of a topic change, that's what I attempt to do.

"So, what have you been do-" I start but he cuts me off.

"Go on a date with me?" he blurts.

**What?**

There's this hopeful expression on his face, begging me to say yes. I'm tempted to ask if I heard him right, but that was exactly what ruined my chances last time, and I'm not going through that again. The whole entire summer spent trying to get over **one** boy. Instead, I grin so big that my eyes are forced to close.

"I'd love to Naruto!"

I emit a squeaking sound when he yanks me off the bench and envelopes me in a bone crushing hug, laughing as he spins me around like in a cliché movie and eventually placed back on my feet. I'm dizzy, but manage to nod stupidly and make a mental note when he speaks again.

"Awesome, I'll pick you up at 6 o'clock tonight. Don't wear anything too dressy either! Bye, Hina-chan!"

I stare at his retreating form dreamily before I snap out of my reverie and realize something. He used... a nickname. Naruto called me Hina-chan! I've got to tell Ino!

Oh, Ino's my best friend and she knows better than anyone about my love towards Naruto. She helped me through those miserable months where I didn't want to do anything but stuff my face, cry, and sleep. Once, she even resorted to dragging me outside by my ankles. Just to get some, "Damn sunlight on your vampire-worthy skin!" as she had put it. I would've never gotten past that summer without her.

I awkwardly search for my cell phone in my disorganized bag, and eventually discover it amongst the junk. I find Ino's name as quickly as my fingers allow and press the call button, nearly shrieking in joy when I hear her glorious voice.

"Hello?" she asks on the other line and I swear she sounds like she just woke up or something. That's probably exactly what happened.

"Ino! It's Hinata. I need to talk to you, **now**! Meet me at the west campus bench, it's about Naruto!" I all but yell into the phone's speaker. Man, I bet I sound hysterical.

"Did you say **Naruto**? As in **the** Naruto Uzumaki?! I'll be right there!" she screeches like a banshee, suddenly awake. I cringe and hold the phone away from my ear so I don't go deaf, feeling bad for whoever was near her at the time of her outburst.

No sooner than this is said, does a curvaceous blond woman with fair skin and the prettiest pale blue eyes you've ever seen materialize in front of me. I jump in a mix of joy and surprise, it took her less than five seconds. That's a new record, even for Ino.

"_Spill, now_," Ino says sternly, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. I sigh and tell her everything.

"This is amazingfultastic Hina! I have to get you ready for tonight, come by my house at three o'clock. That gives us a whole three hours to pretty you up!" she squeals, babbling on about it with the use of nonexistent words and what not. How did she get into college again?

My face takes on a look of horror as the sudden realization of spending three hours in beauty land with Ino sinks in. Dear god, have mercy! What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

Many, many hours later, I am fully decked out in what brings Ino to tears from the supposed "beauty of it all." I honestly think she was about to start bawling like her puppy died.

"You look beautiful Hinata!" she cries dramatically, as she always does. I roll my eyes and survey my outfit.

Ino's made me wear a dressy lavender top that hugs my form in all the right places. I was also forced into wearing some black skinny jeans, and putting on a little waterproof mascara. It's waterproof because Ino has this superstition that, even if you're in the desert, people will forever get wet when going on a date. Please get your mind out of the gutter.

In short, it's nothing too fancy, as Naruto instructed. Where is he taking me anyways? Normally, I'd have forced myself to wear some fancy dress, but this is Naruto we're talking about. He's probably the most unpredictable guy you'll ever meet, there's no telling what he has planned. My stomach flutters and does nervous jumps as I see his orange truck pull up. I laugh. Of course it's orange. As he steps out of the car I see that he's wearing plain blue jeans and a black T-shirt, making me think I've over-dressed. Soon he's on my door step and hesitantly rings the door bell. I swing it open a bit too fast for my liking.

He looks up and seems to be observing my clothes. I blush redder than a tomato as he says, "You look beautiful Hinata-chan, let's go!" He seems anxious.

From behind me I hear Ino shouting, "I told you that you looked beautiful!"

Naruto rescues me from further embarrassment as he grabs my hand and leads me down the driveway. He opens the truck door for me... Naruto style.

"Your chariot awaits, my queen," he announces goofily before swiftly bowing and standing with his arm extended towards the truck. I just smile and play along.

"Oh but wherever are you taking me, good sir?" I question, my tone dripping with sarcasm.

We both laugh and get in the truck. Then we hear Ino wailing about how, "They grow up so fast!" and laugh even harder. Soon, we pull up to some... thick woods? Oh, why am I even surprised, of course he's taking me somewhere like this. But really, it's much better than sitting in a packed restaurant for a few hours. That just means we have to be "civilized". He grins and rushes to open the door for me.

"Such a gentleman, getting the door for a lady!" I exclaim.

He chuckles and offers a hand. I take it and hop to the ground, taking in my surroundings before my gaze settles on the man of my dreams. Naruto sends me a crooked smile and nervous glance as goes to the bed of the truck. He pulls out a large basket and opens it, tossing a bandana my way. This only serves to confuse me.

"Put it on," he instructs calmly.

I just furrow my brows and do as I'm told. My vision is cut off and I leave it to Naruto to figure out how I will walk. I feel something encase my hand and realize its Naruto's. "Come on," A quick tug on my hand to signals me to walk.

After a few minutes of crashing through the trees, we arrive. He unites the bandana and slips his hand back into mine as I take in the scene before me.

"I hope you like it."

I gape at where he's taken me. It's a waterfall. A beautiful waterfall with a small pond, surrounded by dozens of pine trees. It seems Naruto disconnected our hands at some point, as I see him standing by a laid out a blanket and the picnic basket from earlier.

"This is perfect...it's so beautiful..." I voice my thoughts breathlessly.

His teeth shine in the darkness as he grins, I laugh at how ridiculous it is that they actually glow. He beckons me to sit on the blanket with him and I comply as he begins digging through the picnic basket. I gasp happily when I see what he brought with him.

"Oh, you brought dumplings, they're my favorite!" I all but shriek in delight. Rubbing my hands together greedily, I reach for some of the delicious food. I pause as Naruto laughs at my behavior. My whole entire face turns scarlet from embarrassment.

"Yeah, I know they are. 'S why I packed them," he informs nonchalantly, reaching for one as well.

"How did you know?" I wonder, reverting back to my normal soft-spoken self.

Naruto laughs once more while scratching at the back of his neck slowly. I recognize the familiar gesture, it's something he did often in high school.

"Promise you won't think I'm a stalker?"

I just get puzzled and nod my head, "Yes..."

He sighs and begins explaining.

"Well, I used to watch you during lunch, but I don't think you ever caught me, and I just noticed how you always had dumplings..." he trails off, probably picturing the scene in his head.

Soon, he continues, but it seems more like reminiscing with himself rather than me, his tone dreamy and oddly soft compared to his usual loud one.

"There was this... adorable look on your face whenever you saw one. Your eyes would light up and you'd smile. I couldn't help but know they we're your favorite judging by those things," he smiles to himself, like it's the greatest, most precious memory he has.

"Wow, I never knew anyone paid that much attention to me, or cared enough to remember details at all," I tell him.

"Actually, I always did, Hinata-chan."

"At least you don't think I'm a stalker..." Naruto admits, and I laugh while he joins in.

I glance over at the pond, chewing on a dumpling, and think of an idea. It's time to prove Ino's superstition true. Turning to face Naruto, I smirk.

"We should go swimming."

He looks at me like I'm insane and quirks an eyebrow. "Are you serious, Hinata?"

Too easy, "Of course I am, now come on! It's not that cold out here," I beg while tugging at his shirt, daring him to take it off. He still looks uncertain.

"Mou, you're no fun!" I tease childishly and jump to my feet, putting my hands on my hips. "Well, Naruto-kun, feel free to join me later," I say in such a suggestive way I surprise even myself.

Quickly stripping down, I dash towards the waterfall. Seeing the large pond around it, I squeal in delight before gracefully diving in. It gives me chills at first, but I soon adjust to the temperature and laugh like a maniac. There's something seriously wrong with me tonight. My heart nearly stops as I feel something brush against my submerged lower-back. I whip around to find a shirtless Naruto in only his boxers, and laugh as I see his pouting face.

"Aww, does Naru-kun not like the water?" I tease playfully.

Suddenly, he's smirking. My eyes widen as his hands shoot out and grab my hips, pulling me flush against his body. I fit into it like a puzzle piece.

I shiver involuntarily as he whispers into my ear, "You know what I've always regretted, Hinata-chan?"

I can only manage to shake my head and breath out, "What?"

He grips my hips tighter than before and pulls back from my ear to gaze into my dazed lavender eyes. I'm overcome by shock and sudden panic as I see the look on his face.

"What's wrong... A-are you okay, Naruto?" I voice my panic as I cup his face in my hands.

"I just can't believe I left you there sitting on the floor that day, probably confused... I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he rambles, and I try to calm him down by tracing the whisker marks on his face. I didn't know he was feeling guilty, and he shouldn't, I don't want him to.

"I'm here now, Naruto, it's alright. I was never mad at you, I forgave you a long time ago," I whisper soothingly.

He looks up, "Really?"

I nod and continue tracing his cheeks, "Really."

"I hope I'm not rushing things," he tells me and before I can ask what he means, fireworks explode inside my head as Naruto's lips passionately clash with mine. Oh, look. I found Naruto's tongue, interesting. I thread my fingers through his still-dry hair to deepen the kiss, and let out a groan of protest as we separate. He leans his forehead against mine and crushes my body even closer to his. My whole world stops with the next three words, those eight little letters used to express such intense feeling. I know what he means now.

"I love you..."

I say the one thing I though that I'd never get the opportunity to say back.

"I love you, too."

I know I don't have to say anything though, because "those things I'll never say" have become just that. I don't need to say it, Naruto knows it all before I even tell him.

* * *

**Thoughts?**


End file.
